time-with-hubby / uncategorized Jon & Kate (page 3) | Better Way Moms
Today is May 18, 2012

The Roommate Route

Some of us wake up and find that the man we fell for has become a glorified roommate. Let’s talk about that.

Jon & Kate (page 3)

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…is that the last eposode we saw last week was the show with Jon & Kate’s home video footage showing how in love they were. I really hope they can make their marriage work or if not can at least find some sort of happy life for their children.

It also inspires me to make sure I make a real effort to keep my marriage happy.
I will certainly keep them in my prayers.
 
Marie Mullen,
Glasgow, Scotland (UK)

Aaden, Joel, Collin, Hannah, Leah, Alexis, Maddy & Kara. These 8 names roll off my tongue as if I named my children and I had to yell at them for something being naughty. When I first started watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, I could not believe these parents being able to deal with 6 babies and the additional twins, 8 mouths to feed 3 times a day. I thought Kate was a “Superwoman.” And Jon, he was the “Man of Steel.” I could not believe how they could survive, financially and emotionally of raising 8 children. Then I realized “stuff” was given to them. Product placement was within each episode. “Perks” were give to Jon and Kate.

What started as a documentary of the Gosselins quickly become a media circus created by Jon and Kate.

The parents are to blame for the seperation. They wanted to “Jon & Kate Plus 8″ instead of Jon Gosselin and Kate Gosselin with 8 children. I love the show. I wish they would not break up. I just don’t like seeing the show focusing on Jon and Kate’s rumors and tabloids. The show was about the children. Focus on the children. What’s to come of the Gosselins….STAY TUNED!

On another note, couples stop trying in general. It’s like the cow and milk cliche. Once the cow is bought (aka married) someone in the relationship takes the milk (aka love) for granted. Relationships become complacent. Remember when you started dating your spouse. It was exciting. Why does that have to go away? Who wants to wake up one morning and look to see the bed you’re sharing with is just a “roommate.” The chemistry, the excitement, the “love” just disappears??? I find that hard to believe. Did your lover move out in the middle of the night and your new roommate move in without disrupting your sleep? NO. Someone gave up. Maybe both parties gave up.

The day that you wake up to find our spouse has turned into your roommate, someone stopped trying. It’s easy nowadays to throw in the towel, call it quits, get a divorce. Work on the problem, talk, TRY! If not, start posting “LOOKING FOR A NEW ROOMMATE.”

Raymond Chow
Salt Lake City, UT

Amazing article. I had to get my tissues just reading your thoughts on Jon & Kate. Being right and the I’m sorry bridge are so true -yet so hard to believe that we can all be so stubborn in our own way. Thanks for an eye-opening article :)

Nicole Bisig
North Jersey, NJ

Finally, an opinion that I agree with wholeheartedly. “‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word.”

I too, have loved this family from the very beginning, and have invited them into my home every week (sometimes every day) for several years now, so it was with tearstained cheeks that I watched the season premiere of the Gosselin family. The sadness in the children’s eyes is what really made my heart ache. The way they looked to their parents for assurance that neither of them was going to leave, was almost too much to bear. I pray that Jon and Kate understand that everything they do, affects their children to their very core, and no matter what they say — children want their parents to stay together -  they need that security. Jon and Kate may feel that their kids are too young to know what is going on, or that they are being sheltered from it, but they are fooling only themselves, if the 8+ million people watching the show could feel the hurt and disdain between Jon and Kate, there is no way that the kids don’t feel it too.

So it is with sadness and loss that I feel I cannot support their show anymore. I think it is wrong for them to go on with their TV life and doing so is exploiting the situation and their children, and will in no way benefit their marriage which is the foundation of the family. I wish them all the best, and hope that they can forgive all the ‘hoopla’ that has gone on, and get back to being a family where being just that is good enough.

Susan Baerg
British Columbia, Canada

I love Jon and Kate Plus 8!!!!!  It’s literally my favorite show and I always look forward to watching.  I do like that it is real…and I mean REAL not a “reality show”, which as we all know is very different.  I remember when I first started to watch the show.  I was like, “what is the deal with Kate?  She has been very hard on Jon and the way she portrays herself is like a tyrant and you feel for him thinking. “This poor guy”.  However, she has 8 kids and I can only imagine the daily stress she endures with that.  Also, the camera LOVES drama and editing can do a lot.  They make her look like the heavy.  Regardless, it is a wonderful show.  I love Aaden, Colin, Joel (who I have to say is my favorite), little Hannah, Alexis, and Leah.  Over the seasons, they have made me laugh and cry.  I appreciate the rawness of their emotions and the honesty that is present by both Jon and Kate.  I said to my friend, “you know it’s bad when they start talking about a TLC show”.  I remember seeing the report about them possibly splitting up.  I felt like my best friend and her husband were.  As this article says, it’s like they are part of your family.  You become almost attached to them.  It really made me sad.  Is this what the media has come to?  Do they not realize the 8 little ears that will see this at some point?  This is their mommy and daddy.  That is all that they know.  How will they feel?  Does the paparazzi understand that?  I couldn’t believe it in the show when I heard one of the little ones say “there are the paparazzi.”  The fact that he knew who they were saddened me.  It’s horrible and I feel irresponsible journalism.  All they see is the paycheck, not the feelings and lives that are destroyed by this kind of behavior.
 
I didn’t expect what I saw on the premiere. I really felt for Kate when she was talking.  You could tell that she had all that she could do to not cry and…as always, she has those kids first and foremost in mind.  When she did cry she seemed like she could not be that emotional, that she has to be the hard one, the tough one in the group and everyone has formatted such that opinion about her already.  I mean, I did.  I’m not going to lie. I always like her regardless but always felt she was mean.  What did I know?  No one knows what happens behind closed doors.  I was really disappointed in Jon.  I thought he seemed very cold and not thinking about the kids. I felt for Kate having to do their 5th birthday party alone and thought that was selfish of him to be thinking of himself and not those wonderful kids.  Jon and Kate Plus 8 are ALL being affected by this, and Kate still moved forward for those children.  That’s what a parent does.  I applaud her for that.  I have worked with children for over 13 years and see the effects of divorce. I really hope this doesn’t happen for Jon and Kate.  I hope when things calm down with the media that they can get back to where they were. I hope they can get back to the two people who loved each other and made these beautiful kids. I hope they can get over all the hurt and pain that has been caused and I hope they can move forward. Life is so precious and short.  I think the show got bigger then they even thought it would.  I mean…I can’t imagine how that would be?  Having cameras following you around, showing the worst side of you, judging you?  I even have judged them at times but have to remember they are people, just like me.  They make mistakes and I make mistakes.  The only difference between us and them is that “camera” that is forever present.  I can’t even fathom that. I do really feel for them. I hope it works out…I do. I would really hate for there to be Jon plus 4 and Kate plus 4.
 
A forever fan of Jon and Kate Plus 8…
 
Danielle Smith
Santa Monica, CA

Much of what you describe is, to me, why the delicate balance of being a woman is so difficult.  If it’s equally difficult for you men — sorry, I only have my particular bag of experience!

We want to be ourselves in our marriage.  Our best selves, our evolved selves. Because I’m a woman, do I always put family before my feelings??  Should I generally say the “I’m sorrys” to maintain harmony in the home?  Do I really serve the marriage if I don’t speak up and vent MY thoughts?  But when I do, is it at the demise of peace for my children?  Where, or where, is the balance between self expression and realization, and compromise?  How can I teach my children kind negotiation if I don’t dare try it?  When I try it, why do I always end up yelling??!!

If you think I’m doing any more than posing these questions….wrong!  I think they are asked by every wife and mother. Could we try more respect, love and empathy?  Obviously.  But it’s a delicate balance between being true to self, being true to your partner, being true to your children.  I’m leaving it up to this new amazing generation of moms to show us the way!!

Lisa Condie
Sandy, UT

I enjoyed reading this article, it’s the same reaction I had – expecting the premiere to show them working on their marriage and instead seeing the pain, loss and sadness!  I was depressed for a couple days – like you said, as if they were my family! LOL
 
But I’m so tired of people talking about how they are exploiting the children and how evil it is that they have gotten money for this. I’m a teacher and have been around children all my life – those kids seem just fine to me! Mady has her issues but that’s her personality and she’ll have to work through it on TV or off! Lots of children are in show business and several other families are doing “reality shows” so why is it so awful for Jon and Kate to do one? The kids seem happy, they are much better behaved than most of the other children I see on television, and there seem to be a lot of limits on the time and scope of filming! I see responsible parents!
 
And OF COURSE they get paid! What’s wrong with that? They work on television and they get paid just like everyone else who works on TV. And they get perks and products given to them because it is free advertising!  All the other families who have multiples get a lot of free stuff too!
 
Why is everyone so nasty about this family? Every parent makes choices about their family and some are good and some turn out to be mistakes. These parents made choices that you might not agree with but they are not evil, their kids shouldn’t be taken away….give me a break! They’re people doing the best they can and going through a hard time!  Thanks for writing such a great article about the real point – how sad it is to see a family in trouble! I hope they go to counseling!
 
Colleen
Northwest Indiana

Sarah,

I read your article this morning on your web sit regarding Jon & Kate. I want you to know that I believe you truly nailed my feelings. I too have been “addicted” to their show. Not for reason that I have seen some folks write about “you just love watching a train wreck”, or “no one ever turns their heads when they pass a car accident”. For me it isn’t like that. I watch their show because I truly enjoy the interaction with kids, AND the interaction between Jon and Kate. I have said a thousand times, Good Lord if you followed me all day with a camera … I can only image what I might say or do. I think Kate is a good person. I see her as someone who is intelligent and kind. Yes she likes things done a certain way, SO DO I!!! I do like that she has a hair style, and gets her nails done. Good for her!  Why should she look like trailer trash just because she has a house full of kids. I love that she takes care of herself.  And just look at how she takes care of her kids; they have perfect little outfits, perfect hair … see she trys to make all her family look decent. We all know Jon is very vain, he has said so in many episodes (remember the t-shirt, “it’s a medium …!). Yet, no one complains that Jon is trying to be something he isn’t.

I can hardly stand to look at them know.  It is so heart breaking!  I can honestly feel their pain.  They do love each other, they are just lost right now and have no idea how to get back together without hurting their injured pride.  I really wish them the very best and will continue to pray for their marriage salvation.

Respectively,
Kate


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