It Goes So Fast! (cont)
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...when I change my last diaper, but it marks the passing of another stage that you don't get back. Another year that you swear you'll never forget the details of. Yes, it will be easier when the're older and don't need me as much. I will be able to finish a book. I will be able to eat a hot meal. I will be able to watch something on TV other than the Disney Channel. But watch what we wish for, the bad comes with the good and when you wish away the diapers, you wish away the time that holds the whole package.
It's just dawning on me that I'm going to miss a lot of this stuff when they're in high school and gone to college, so maybe I need to savor the page I'm on. I'm going to miss their little voices that will turn into grown up voices one day. I'm going to miss being able to pick them up and carry them around. I'm going to miss their wide eyed amazement when I tell them a story that they find interesting. I'm going to miss asking for a hug and kiss and them stopping on a dime and gladly planting one on me. I'm going to miss remembering what it feels like to hold their little hand in mine when we walk across the street. I'm going to miss being asked to read a bedtime story. I'm going to miss them wanting to hang out with me more than anyone else. I'm going to miss when they get a boo-boo and my kiss magically makes it feel better.
My guinea pig first child is now eight and I realize I have let many of these moments pass me by. She still lets me hold her hand in front of her friends (but she just cut her daddy off, he's feeling sad about it) so I still have that. Although eight years have passed, at least I didn't hit Step 3 when she was 17, so it could be worse. She's a little older now, but she's still my first, the one who stole my heart so unexpectedly, my only daughter. I will start taking the time to enjoy her more and make some new memories. Undoubtedly now that she's "older" this will eventually wear on her and she will start hiding in her room from me every chance she gets so I will stay out of her business and stop hovering.
The child who will bear the brunt of my awakening is my third child, the baby. He's two and he's the third child. He and I have not lost much time and I should focus most of my energy on him I think. Unfortunately, now he will never be allowed to grow up. I will surely carry him until his feet are dragging the ground and not allow him to feed himself until he is in middle school and is begging me to leave him alone. It's highly likely he will turn into a nightmare momma's boy who will end up friendless and need years of therapy to straighten him out someday. Sorry Eli, if not this, you'd end up being the totally forgotten about third child. Hard to say which is worse?
Since I will be so busy with my oldest and youngest children, my middle boy, who will ultimately fall through the cracks in this scenario, seems to be the big winner! Somehow he will get just the right amount of attention and therefore might end up speaking to me as an adult. Yea for Wyatt!
Moderation does not seem to be my strongest quality. I'm going to put that on my To Do List.
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Author: Shari Dabby
