Milk For Your Meeting?
So there I was, in a meeting for our site, and bam! I realize there is breast milk leaking through my shirt. I was talking about our marketing strategy and Wall Street, and suddenly, I came to the realization that my body, while physically in the meeting, was reminding me that it was time to feed my daughter.
My mind raced to her face (which made the current flooding situation worse), which was a good 45 minutes away. I panicked thinking about how much time was left in the meeting and worrying that I had made a mistake by coming. I was instantly transformed into "mommy" — I was "business woman extraodinaire" no more. Wall Street Schmall Street.
I found myself saying (in my head of course), "Are you kidding me? Please tell me this isn't happening. I'm so embarrassed. This guy is going to freak out." I know there are the moms out there who think that's silly. I should be proud of the fact that my body is doing what it was built to do, but yikes. Really? In front of a young guy who was helping me with marketing ideas? At a moment when I was feeling really empowered as an entrepreneur? Really?
And there it was — live and in the flesh. The lovely mom balancing act we all deal with was staring me right in the face — or rather, soaking through my shirt. My body knew I was supposed to be feeding my child, and I was out drumming up business.
Was I in the right place? Would it have been better for me to miss the meeting to be home with her? Is there going to be a day when I don't ask myself these questions? When I'm working (which I love to do), I feel like I should be with my kids. Yet when I'm with the kids, I feel like I should be working.
I have a few tricks I've used that have helped me so far. As I do most of my work from my home office, I make sure I turn off the computer at a specific time at night, and that I only turn it on at a specific time in the morning. If I don't put myself on this schedule, forget it. I'll be on the computer all day (and night) non-stop, and then wonder what happened to my house, and my kids.
Additionally, I actually pinch myself from time to time to make sure I'm completely focused on what I'm doing. It "wakes me up" to what is actually in front of me. I did this the other evening when I was playing Legos with my son. He was building a tower and he had asked me to play with him with such intensity, that I had to say yes. But I was in the middle of an article, literally mid-sentence. So, I looked him right in the eye so he knew I heard him, and I told him to give me just one minute. I made sure to be quick, finished the sentence I was writing and quickly typed out three other ideas I had before I lost them. I clicked "save" and went into his toy room.
While I was sitting with him, my mind kept wandering back to the waiting article. Then I looked at his sweet little face, his focus and intention, and I literally pinched myself. Suddenly, I was able to focus on him and him only as he carefully added one Lego on top of the other to make his wonderful tower. I taught him when to use the big rectangles and when to use the squares to make the most balanced structure. He was so proud when we were done, and I was proud too. I had done it. I had created a moment of balance. I had spent a solid twenty minutes with my full attention on my son. My work wasn't there with me, but I knew it was waiting and that I could pick it right back up. But for those twenty minutes, it was just me and my son. I absolutely loved it.
So, as I pulled my shirt away from my motherly inclination, I knew (despite my embarrassment) that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I had planned this, I had worked for this meeting and it was the right place for me to be to make sure that I provide for my daughter and our family. I had spent the day with my daughter, and even gone for a walk with my son. I had spent time with them, loved them and nurtured them. And at this moment, I was in a meeting.
I have decided that from here on out, I will work to actually be where I am. After all, how many of us have thought about the laundry we need to do while we’re having sex? And interestingly enough, we find ourselves thinking about sex while doing the laundry. This doesn't help us much...but it sure is funny. The time has come to be where I am, and truly participate in what I'm doing — whether it's milk in meetings or sex and laundry — I can't get anything done if I don’t let myself be where I am….
Author: Sarah
