Negotiation Lessons for Moms and Mom Entrepreneurs
If you are like me you probably negotiate more times in a day than you can count.
With your child:
Eat three more bites and you can have a cookie.
With your spouse or ex:
I'll drop the kids off tomorrow if you can take Billy to practice Wednesday?
With your boss:
I need to leave early for Emma's holiday lunch, but I can finish this report after the kids go to bed.
Often negotiations feel like a lose-win or a lose-lose deal, but they don’t have to.
Last February I was battling my four-year-old on who would be invited to his birthday party and where it would be held. As a working mom, I am lucky that budget wasn’t a major consideration, but simplicity was.
I agreed to let him invite his preschool class. Then I gave him a choice of locations to choose from, purposely excluding our home. He chose…our home. To make matters worse, he still wanted to invite his entire class. Not only would this certainly result in collateral damage to my house, but it would also mean that I’d have to spend all my time entertaining complete strangers, rather than visiting with close family and friends who I actually enjoy entertaining in my home. My options were:
1. Have the party at our home and invite the entire class (lose-win)
2. Refuse his request (not an option as a guilt-ridden working mom) and insist we limit the guest list or change the location (win-lose)
I had to come up with some alternative he would agree to.
As a sales manager in my day job, I attended a two-day negotiation course that week. The most valuable thing I learned is that the key to negotiating is creating a win-win. The way to accomplish this is by "expanding the pie." This means that rather than arguing over a fixed pool of negotiable items, put more options on the table.
I thought about the birthday party during my drive home and I came up with a third option to my dilemma:
3. Have the party at home without the classmates, and give him a second "party" at school by taking cupcakes in to his class on his actual birthday.
He bit, hook, line, and cupcake. He was thrilled and so was I. And it cost far less than including all those kids in the original party. I found a way to expand the pie, and it worked like a charm!
You can apply the same principles in your career negotiations. Look for ways to make your boss, coworkers, vendors, or customers feel like they are getting something more or better than what they are giving up. You can often find a solution that is better for both of you and no one has to lose.
Author: Courtney Briggs
BIO: Courtney Briggs is a working mother of two and an MBA with over 15 years of advertising, sales, sales training, and management experience. Visit www.courtneybriggswrites.blogspot.com to learn more about her and her work. Check out www.momstrengths.blogspot.com to learn more about your unique Mom Strengths and how to use them to be a happier, more successful Mom.
