Siblings Baby, Siblings
After many months of post-partum depression and anxiety, things are getting better. Yeah, everyone said that things would get better with time, but you know, people are full of you-know-what sometimes-- either that, or I have to figure things out for myself.
I don't know if some switch flipped when Baby Girl turned one, or perhaps it was the dramatic and long-awaited return of a long-lost aunt who used to visit me monthly but had been noticeably absent since November of 2008. Her advent sent me into an Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret-esque glee, prompting me to share this news with pretty much anyone and everyone. Good times. I heart Judy Blume. So, armed with the hope of the possible regulation of the hormonal mayhem that had overtaken my body for the past few months, perhaps I'm seeing the world through different eyes.
I see my kids starting to play together — I mean, really play together — and I have a glimpse of what they may be doing in the years to come. Yes, Big Brother still decks her, kicks her, pushes her over, and grabs stuff out of her hands, but the funny thing is that Baby Girl is starting to give it out, too.
Of course I don't condone violence, but I have to chuckle when I see her grab hold of fistfuls of her brother's luscious locks (and they are pretty damn luscious, if I do say so myself) and yank away, only to have him wail, "She's pulling my hair! Noooo! I don't like that when you do that!" Ahhh, God bless preschool for teaching these kids how to use their words. *smile* Too bad that the girl doesn't understand a damn thing and keeps yanking away.
She's also figuring out the whole cause-and-effect thing and will look one of us dead in the eye, grin from ear to ear, and grab her brother’s elaborate truck and train formations, as if to say, "Look at me! I have power... bwa ha ha HA!" Cheeky. And the girl has also found her voice. Sure, she's still mostly laidback, but she will let.you.know. if she objects or doesn't want to do something: get in the carseat, sit in the highchair, you name it. Well, it's good for a girl to have a voice these days.
But really, it's fabulous to watch them play together. Sure, she doesn't get it when he wants to play some pretend game involving random family configurations, and he'll be like, "Noooo! I'm the baby! You're the mommy! You can't use baby talk if you're the mommy!" And she'll just giggle at him. But he tickles her, and she squeals with glee and tried to swat him back, and he laughs at her, and they end up cackling away, usually in the bath or at meal time and ending up creating a massive mess for yours truly to clean up. Yes, there's a lot of avocado in the hair these days.
And they collude now, the little devils! A couple weeks ago, I heard the TV on (which was odd), and I walked into the living room to find Baby Girl standing at the TV stand with the internet router in her mouth and a remote in one hand. Big Brother had the other remote, and both kids were grinning at me like they had their hands in the cookie jar. And last week, I heard Dan yell, "Divya, you need go to into the bathroom now — the kids are in there —" and yes, they were. Baby Girl was about to climb into the bathtub (the girl is a climber), and her brother was showing her how to pour out shampoo: "First, you open it like this, and then you turn it over and squeeze. See? Squeeeeeze…"
It took everything in me not to roll on the floor laughing, especially when they look at me with those grins.
But yes, I still worry. Maybe because I'm my mother's daughter, maybe because I'm a mom, or maybe because I'm human. I worry that Baby Girl isn't stimulated enough, I worry that she's going to be dumb because I haven't read her a book in I don't know how many days, I worry that she's not going to learn anything because I cart her around to do errands instead of to those nauseating baby classes... but I know she'll be fine. After all, when her brother's around, she's getting a ton of stimulation.
In fact, I responded to a local moms' listserv post about this very topic: someone was worried that their second child wasn't getting enough attention, and I said, "Yes, I have the same worry, but I think it's going to work out" and wrote this cute post about how I was enjoying a quiet moment while my kids were playing together. Big Brother was playing with his babydoll and putting it to bed, and he was telling Baby Girl, "OK, let's sing her a goodnight song. No, quiet singing!" And the baby babbled away. I'll confess that they were out of my sight but within earshot, and I was enjoying an uninterrupted and very necessary cup of coffee as I wrote my response to this post.
Well, what I failed to notice was silence.
Silence is never a good thing with somewhat unattended children, especially if said silence is followed by, "Mama, she made a mess!"
Uh oh.
Yeah, yours truly had left her bag on the floor, and Baby Girl had managed to find my bottle of juice, open it, and pour it all over the floor. By the time I got to her, she was covered in it and happily splashing it all over the floor. I think the house still smells like strawberry lemonade. Oops.
Moral of the story: when Mommy turns her back, babies raise hell and have fun together. I guess this is why I chose to have my kids relatively close in age, right?
Author: Divya Kumar
You can follow Divya on her blog, MonsoonMama.
