SWM (Single Working Mom) Seeking…

A month or so ago I wrote a piece about how hard it is to incorporate dating into the life of a single mom. Sarah, one of the fabulous Better Way Moms founders, told me that post resonated with a lot of readers, and she asked me to write a follow-up piece. "Maybe even something about an actual date," she wrote. Yeah, right. Over the previous year I could count the number of dates that I have been on with one hand (and that's not including my thumb). Oh, well — there are plenty of other topics to write about.

And then a miracle happened. I got asked on a date.

It was a set-up by the very dear husband of a very dear friend. He's a great guy so I figured that anybody recommended by him was worth a shot. I got the guy's number and called him up. (Yes, that's right — I called him. I've done it before and I'm sure I'll do it again. It's my "taking the bull by the horns" approach.) We had a great conversation and made plans for the following Saturday night. "Maybe, just maybe," I think, "Things are looking up for me." I am the constant optimist.

And the date was lovely. He was young, smart and funny. A little bit of a geek, which I (a geek myself) find insanely sexy. More great conversation and lots of prosecco. We walked around a bit while holding hands. I got a good-night kiss (okay, kisses…) and hopped in a cab home. Before that he said, "You have my number." "And you have mine," I replied.

I heard nothing from him on Sunday. I know it's old-fashioned of me, but I like a guy to call the day after. So I tried not to think about it too much. Nothing on Monday either. But like he said, I did have his number. So I decided to (wo)man up and call him — again. I left a simple message, "Had a great time, would like to see you again, etc."

Nada. Nothing. Bupkus. There goes my ego. The morbidly curious part of me would like to know why I got the big blow-off. Was it that I'm a mom? (Although he already knew that.) The ten-year age difference? (Told you he was young.) This is a guy who told me I was cute and sexy. (Indeed, that alone might have been worth the cost of babysitting.) So why isn't he calling? I have to just let it go. Chalk it up to experience. Although at this point in my dating career, the bad experiences are starting to outnumber the good.

I know that put into perspective it's really not that big a deal. However, my ex-husband got married this summer. A mere three years after our separation and a little more than a year after the divorce was final. He is committing his life and love to someone (again) and I can't even get a second date. It's pretty damn depressing.

And of course since he went to his dad's wedding, E is incredibly curious about remarriage. We were eating breakfast the other day and he started in with the questions.

E: Are you going to get married again?
(Poor kid. He doesn't realize how slim those prospects are when I'm sitting home with him on a Friday night playing UNO and watching Flushed Away.)

Me: I don't know, honey. Maybe. I mean I'd like to someday, but I'll also be okay if I don't.

E: Who would you marry?

(Ah, from the mouths of babes.)

Me: Well, I don't know. Hopefully I'll meet someone nice and funny who loves us, and who we love, too. That would be nice, right?

E: Yeah. So, would he be my stepdad?

Me: Yes, he would. Is that okay with you.

E: Sure. That's fine. I want a stepdad.

(And then I had a revelation.)

Me: Hey, how about this? If you see a guy who looks like he might make a good stepdad, this is what you do — go up to him and say, "Hi. My name is E. My mom is a yoga teacher, she's really funny and makes good banana bread. Would you like to be my stepdad?"

(E looked at me in shock. Then burst out laughing when he realized I was joking. Which I was. Kind of.)

Me: Think of it, babe. What if it worked? That would make my life so much easier. You should give it a try. Just once. Please.

(The laughing continued.)

Needless to say, I'm still working on him.

As previously mentioned, it's all about perspective, right? I realize that things are pretty good for me, and that I don't need a love life to be happy and fulfilled. Nevertheless, I continue the quest. It's not my number one priority, but it also makes no sense to give up yet. I am humbled but undaunted. In the meantime, I'm really getting the hang of UNO.

Oh, and here — take my number. Just in case you know someone….

Author: Stacey Linden

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