The Birthday Party Circuit
I just returned from a birthday party for my daughter’s friend. Yes, it seems my 21 month-old has friends now, and the appropriate occasions that go with these relationships are starting. She’s attended little celebrations before, but this was her first true honest-to-goodness party. And the whold day prior, I had been wondering what it would be like for her, and what it would be like for me.
Allow me to explain. Obviously, I’ve been at children’s birthday parties before. I have nieces and nephews, cousins and friends with children. But I had never attended as a parent, and so never as a true participant of the party. When I was single, or a wife and not yet a mother, I was more of an observer at birthday parties. A couple of days before, I’d worry about what size the birthday boy or girl was, and how I would relate that information to “T” sizes, as I didn’t know what that meant. I watched the kids run and play, and watched parents chase after them. I’d notice the parents chat amongst themselves, and sometimes I’d join their conversations and listen to them discuss the hot topics: childcare and play dates and school options. Then I’d excuse myself and get a drink. Alcohol at kids’ parties was always a plus for those who don’t have kids in my book.
This time, I attended a child’s birthday party as a member of the club. I’m a parent through and through and currently in the mist of being guided by a toddler through toddlerhood. I definitely felt a part of this scene, and yet part of me still had some anxiety. My daughter goes to the same daycare center as the birthday girl, and my husband drops our girl off and picks her up on weekdays. I am actually embarrassed to say I didn’t recognize the birthday girl, and I didn’t know too many of the parents there either.
Apparently that didn’t matter to them, as they were all very warm and welcoming to me. They were eager to meet “the-mother-of” and to tell me how much they liked my little girl. I was filled with pride to hear such praise, and I told them how nice it was to meet them. One comment did startle me : “We’re glad to finally meet you too, your husband said you were the workaholic in the family.” Wow, when did I become that? I don’t consider myself that, and yet here I was trying to explain why I didn’t know half of these kids or their parents. It hit me pretty hard in that moment, how much time I’m missing with my girl and how the time I do get is not enough. I think I’m going to have to do something about that.
Anyway, the mother host was wonderful, and she started a nice conversation with me. She joked about how not so long ago we all would have spent this Manhattan Sunday differently: drinking mimosa’s and shopping, getting pedicures and contemplating what movie to see that afternoon. Now we were wiping hand and faces, reigning in the herds of children like sheep and watching magic shows. Yup, the times they are a changin’.
Then I noticed how the adults dressed for this party. Though it was at a park, many of the moms were in cute dresses and fully accessorized. This is definitely something I hadn’t planned on, as I showed up in shorts and a basic tank top with sneakers. You see we bicycled to this party and I thought I should be practical and wear something comfortable. It didn’t occur to me that anyone other than the children would be looking cute. I figured as long as my daughter was in a dress, she was cute enough for our whole family. And she was. Even so, next time maybe we’ll consider driving there so I can open up my options.
All in all, it was a wonderful party. The kids had a blast and my husband and I had a nice time too. It’s so interesting to be on the inside of this parenthood community and get to relate firsthand. There were some there that didn’t have children, and I looked at them and remembered me as I was. I asked myself what they must be thinking, and what they would be doing after the party was over as they settled in for a relaxing evening to themselves. Maybe they had to do laundry that night, and would want to put it off because they simply preferred to do absolutely nothing. I thought of my own laundry basket at home, clean clothes sitting unfolded for about five days now. After I put my daughter to bed tonight, I think I’ll take it easy and fold my laundry. And I’ll look forward to the day when she can do the laundry herself, and maybe I’ll do absolutely nothing that evening too.
Author: Amy
