The MILF Factor

Before becoming a mother, I didn’t give much thought to the term MILF. It was something I had heard here and there, and mostly associated with the term "cougar." I pictured moms of teenage children prowling for the next hot man to devour in dresses too short and tight. I thought it was a joke, and the mothers were the punch lines.

I’ve since changed my tune. As a mother (and since my uterus has shrunken back to it’s normal size), I’ve given the term much more consideration and have become quite fascinated with it. Aside from the obvious, what exactly is a MILF, who says and why?

Men say she’s a mom they’d like to…get busy with. Hollywood tells us she should be able to fit back into her skinny jeans within two months. Beauty magazines say she should be quaffed, glowing and meticulously groomed. Husbands think she should be just as ready for sex as she would be for a facial…a long overdue facial.

But what do we say? After all, we are the ones who bring children into the world and we had to have sex to do that. Good sex. Spontaneous, passionate, non-thinking sex! (Remember that?) Two of the strongest needs I have ever felt have been sexual desire and maternal instinct. Both all consuming, urgent and heart stopping. Though vastly different in their physical manifestations, both are as intense as anything I’ve ever known. I wouldn’t want to live my life without them.

Reconciling them is, of course, the greatest challenge of all. The act of mothering often minimizes sexual desire due to exhaustion, due to…well, living our daily lives. But isn’t it funny how a smell, a memory, or even a celebrity of all things can ignite one’s libido? Suddenly my senses are awake and primed and regardless of my surroundings, I confirm to myself I’ve still got it. I may not be able to “get it” in that moment, but oh yeah baby…it’s on. I continue walking with an extra pep in my step and feel the blood pulsing through my veins, smiling mischievously like I’m walking around with a dirty little secret and indeed, I am.

I feel strong, sexy, beautiful and alive. And that, fellow mothers, coupled with our maternal instinct, is a very, very powerful thing. Much like Eve Ensler reinvented the word "vagina," I believe the term now is ours for the taking. As we are always completely in charge of how we feel, we can treat ourselves as the sexual goddesses we are and know we would crawl through broken glass to protect our children. By combining sexual strength with the force of motherhood, the term MILF no longer seems like a punch line, but place of empowerment.


Author: Amy