The Person I Used to Be

Today I saw the person I used to be before motherhood. In fact, she's everywhere! She's at the grocery store, the mall, and even in the next car. I notice her because she's so neatly put together, confident, and always in a hurry. I remember those days in my early to late twenties when life was all about me. I was selfish but it was okay. I had no one to look after. I could go about my day building my education, career, etc.

For a second I almost wished I could taste the freedom again. Then I really thought about those days. I was struggling to finish college. My jobs never pleased me. And I especially disliked working for someone else. There were days when I just slept. Nothing was definite. Most of the time I was looking for an emotional connection in relationships that were unfulfilling.

When I met my husband life changed. I had someone who accepted all my faults and loved me anyway. With that love came the desire to have a baby. It was something I said I would never do and something I never wanted. To my surprise my grandmother was right. She said I would change my mind someday. I guess approaching thirty effected the change of mind along with my husbands desire to have a child. It only took a matter of months after we were married to notice all the babies in the grocery store. We would smile at each one and plan for one of our own.

Once my son came I embraced the life change. I prepared so much for how hard the change would be that it was almost easy. Staying home with my son became top priority. I would be my own boss and get a more useful education than any classroom could offer.

Now, I have all the things that I did not have when I was running around in circles trying to become somebody. I have a reason to get up in the morning, a reason for being, and most important…a family to love. Isn't that what we are all searching for in life? If so, then I am a success. Forget the old me. She has nothing on the person I am now!


Author: Victoria H.