The Sisterhood of Motherhood

Camraderie among women has never been my strong suit. I grew up with one brother and no sisters. I had cousins my age but none lived closed by. I of course had friends but as a tomboy, I didn't always mesh with the "girlie" girls. I liked my friendships in high school but never felt quite at home — just enough to get by and be properly socially integrated. And by now you may have guessed that I never joined a sorority either.

In college, I developed some truly great friendships and became a bit of a social butterfly. I attended a very large university and met tons of interesting people from all over the country. We all swore we'd be friends forever but as careers, moves and marriages materialized, we separated and went off to live our lives. We stay in touch to touch base and then once we're satisfied we've checked in, we go about living our lives once more.

I can say that I will love and adore my New York City single friends forever (though most of us are no longer single). I feel myself with them in a second’s notice no matter how much time passes by.

But it wasn't until I became a mother that I felt deeply rooted in a pre-defined community of women, some of whom were complete strangers to me. Walking down the street with my toddler, I can feel an underlying connection with woman I’ve never met simply because we are mothers. Even women I see without children — if they smile a certain way at my daughter, I can identify my kind immediately. Sometimes we swap stories on the triumphs, trials, tribulations and tantrums. Other times we catch each other's eye and share a momentarily glance of recognition before parting ways. 

And the friends I've known pre-motherhood, we are even more connected now than we were before. It's as if an entire new dimension of consciousness has opened up to us. We really spill our guts out, so eager to explore this new and uncharted territory and no matter what we share, there is always infinitely more to discover. 

Then there are friends I've met because I am a mother, and a bond forms that's so natural and easy. We have an instant foundation from which to build, and our continued communication about our lives then binds and strengthens our connection. They may be new friends but once ingrained in my life, it's hard to imagine life before them.

When I reflect on the friendships in my life, I am so grateful to have found this community that has accepted me so warmly, with such compassion and grace. It's more than finally finding a club that would have me as a member (sorry Groucho Marx), I feel completely at home in this shared life experience. To me, we are sisters in motherhood: all on the same journey, taking different roads with maps and compasses that sometimes don't work. But with my fellow moms besides me, I know I'll continue to find my way.


Author: Amy