Top 10 Things I Learned About Baby/Toddler Sleep Training

This was inspired by seeing the light (3 nights of sleeping straight through) and then having that light cruelly taken away from us (last 3 nights awake 2-3 times per night). I apologize if I sound a little hopeless, angry and sad but after 13 months, reading every book on the market, having an amazing routine and trying everything in a New York apartment the size of a shoe box...my husband and I thought things would be a little different.

So, what did I learn about baby/toddler sleep and sleep training?

1.   It's an oxymoron.

2.   Every sleep method I read has a small line of print: "This might not work if your child is teething, going through a milestone or any additional change." You mean like every day until he is 18?

2 1/2.   "If your child vomits from crying too hard, calmly clean up the throw up and leave the room." What?!?

3.   Every book I read has "No Cry" or "Easy" in their title, but by chapter three I always realize this it is not the case. FYI: Some of us work so no, I cannot chart every time my daughter rubs her eyes.

4.   Only sleep training can make two college educated, smart, patient parents feel like complete powerless idiots.

5.   It's mind boggling to me how can anyone wake up at 5am, never stop moving and still have problems falling asleep at 9pm.

6.   I would agree to gain a 100 pounds if I could get eight hours of continuous sleep EVERY night WITH my husband in OUR bed ALONE. Too bad I would no longer fit in that bed...

7.   I was scared out of my mind when I read on internet that some kids still wake up 2-3 times per night at 3, 5, and 7 years-old.  Should have adopted a 16 year old — I heard they sleep till 2pm.

8.   I want my money back for every soother, night-time CD and comfort blanket I bought in the last year. I fell for all of you.

9.   When I daydream at work, it's always the same: a nursery on the third floor of my modest mansion and Tori and Dean's nanny carrying our girl away for the night as I open a nice bottle of red.

10.  Maybe sleep problems are the way to keep this world from being overpopulated, because otherwise people would have 10-15 kids each.

Author: Ilona Siller