Tori and Dean

I've been told I resemble Tori Spelling. Whether you think this is a good thing or bad thing, there it is. Beverly Hills 90210 was practically an obsession of mine in high school (well, it was a phenomenon in the 90s, give me a little credit). And because it was all the rage, people often commented on the physical similarities between Tori and me. When Tori played goody two-shoes Donna Martin, I found the character very prissy and wasn't thrilled with the comparison. I didn’t think of Tori Spelling the person, I thought of Donna Martin the character. And I was over it.

As we all know, Beverly Hills 90210 ended its original run and we said goodbye to Donna and David, Kelly, Dylan, Brandon and Valerie. Tori would flash through the news once in a while but she wasn't someone I thought of often. She then began feuding with her mother and brother, got married, got divorced, got remarried, lost her father and her inheritance. The girl had a rough couple of years. And wouldn't you know it, she got a reality television show based on her new life with her new husband and her expectant first child. And, being the voyeuristic person I am (I love to hate to love reality TV — it hurts so good!), I decided to give the show a try. After all, I didn’t know anything about what Tori was actually like, and it was summertime, and there was nothing on besides re-runs…

So I began tuning in to Tori and Dean. At first, it was fascinating for me to watch — a graduate of West Beverly High all grown up with a husband and children. After the Donna Martin affiliation wore off, I really started to pay attention to this mother/wife/businesswoman in action and I developed the definite opinion that I like Tori.  She really seems to make her life work, and I appreciated that. 

I think Tori and Dean really do love each other. I see how she struggles with trying to take care of her children and her career and herself and maintain a loving and affectionate relationship with her husband. She’s concerned about making time for them. She’s concerned about her craft and businesses and making sure they’re successful. She talks about how they don’t have enough sex and how she just wants to take a vacation. These are all issues I can definitely relate to. 

Now I do understand that this is a television show. And I know that Tori and Dean live in Los Angeles, have a multi-million dollar house and a full-time nanny and beautiful clothes and cars. But what I’ve also come to realize is that the issues we as mothers struggle with — that Tori herself struggles with — they don't know economic boundaries. Loneliness, anxiety and exhaustion have nothing to do with how much money a mother has. They run across countless family households without prejudice. It affects many, many a mom regardless of her circumstance in life. 

In her show, Tori Spelling puts that out there.  As it turns out, some physical resemblance isn't all we share. Now that we are both mothers, it seems we struggle with managing everything too. Tori, like all of us, deserves credit for making her way in the world and turning life's lemons into lemonade.  Thank you for showing us what happens to you and your family in the process. I wish you much success, and I’ll be staying tuned.

Author: Amy

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