Turn The Noise Down & Tune In
Reaction. Lately, it's become a dirty word to me. They say every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Well, I wouldn't necessarily call my reactions lately "equal" or proportionate for that matter. They look more like the catalyst to start World War III.
Why? I'll tell you why. Because I've become a reactive person. I'm her, she's me — we're one. Before I left for work one recent morning, I was incredibly snappish to my husband. If you'd been looking in our window, you'd have thought we were discussing something big: religion, the presidential election, college tuition. In truth, we were talking about the laundry. Feel free to insert your pity here.
Like I said, I've become a reactive person. The person I had judged countless times at stores, on sidewalks, on trains. How odd it feels now to be on the other side of this now, living it myself instead of criticizing others. After my "discussion" (if you could call it that) with my husband, I simultaneously felt ashamed, angry and justified. But mostly, and always in retrospect, I felt just plain old silly. I'm a 33-year-old woman having a tantrum over laundry — enough said. And I know the general cures to this problem. I've heard them all before: more sleep, reduce stress, etc. That's great to shoot for, sure. But what do I actually do now — this moment, this second?
Heading into work, I know there are many more opportunities for me to react in — well, a reactive way. But the bottom line is, I am the boss of me. So, when faced with yet another seemingly important topic to react poorly to (that I will inevitably feel silly about later), I will instead take a moment and listen. Not to the nonsense that surrounds me, but to my own beautiful silence. To the peaceful, quiet place that I rarely have time to visit because of I'm constantly doing and going. I will pause and embrace that silence and smile inside knowing it will always be there. I can access these several seconds of serenity whenever I truly need them. Then I will turn the volume back up and attempt to cope with the latest nonsensical disaster, trying to find the humor in it all right now instead of later. After that, I'll make a note to get more sleep and reduce stress. You know, when I have the time.
Author: Amy
