Twilight's Edward

When it comes to Twilight, we women fall into one of two categories: those who are completely obsessed and addicted, and those who haven't read the books yet.

And we moms seem to have our own version of obsession when it comes to the fictional Mr. Cullen. In fact, if you google Twilight and moms you’ll get a whopping 1,600,000 results. Moms are fawning over Edward like nothing I've ever seen. I'm one of them.

In fact, even writing about the Twilight series right now makes my heart rate go up. Yep, it's true. Thinking about Edward is just such an escape? He's just so, um, perfect. I hate to use that word, it minimizes how we all feel about him and it's so over used. But I really can’t think of a better word to describe him. He’s immortal, he’s kind, he fights for his love, he’s incredibly strong, he has the willpower of a god and well, he’s really really hot.

I was given the first Twilight book by my lovely cousin over a year and a half ago. I was one of the lucky few that didn't know what the story was about when I started reading. I remember realizing a few dozen pages in that Edward was different. "Wait a minute!" I thought, "He's not human!" And for whatever reason, that made me like him more. The fact that he was so gentle and protective of Bella when he could kill her at any moment was very sexy. And then they kissed at the end of the meadow scene. I remember very vividly that he smiled when they kissed, he held very very still and had to pull back. Each word was soaked with his very sexy and very amazing willpower.  And that, my friends, was it. I was hooked.

I called my cousin and said something along the lines of, "What have you done to me? I can't think, I forget to eat. What happens to them? Wait. Don’t tell me. I want an Edward, is that wrong?" Then she told me there were two more books. I almost hung up on her trying to get to amazon.com fast enough. My husband wasn't quite sure what was going on with me as I disappeared into our bedroom for hours at a time. I was completely consumed with the ache, the horror, the passion and the torture that is the series. I thought I was going to die waiting for book four. Yes, that's right all you avid readers, some of us were held in a torturous purgatory not knowing how the story would end. And we had to WAIT. Oh the pain of it all!

Then I shared it with my friends. This private love of Edward just had to be shared. Well, at least I tried to share it. I was too embarrassed to share it with some of my friends. I couldn’t admit that a 17-year-old character was keeping me up at nights. The friends I did share it with looked at me with pity in their eyes and said things like, "I'm so glad you enjoyed it." What they didn't say, but what they were clearly thinking was, "Oh dear, she's lost it. And over a teen novel! So sad. She was a smart girl once."

I can say now that tide has turned, and quickly. About two months ago a friend called me from North Carolina on her way to buy Eclipse on a Sunday morning. She was laughing hysterically as she told me that she almost killed her husband when he suggested she just order the book online. She blurted out, "Are you crazy?! That would take two days! I need it right now!" She then grabbed her purse and ran out the door. She had already spent the morning calling several bookstores to make sure the book was in stock. I would have reacted exactly the same way. Don’t come between a woman and her Twilight.

And yet, the whole thing troubles me just a little bit. Well, maybe "troubles" isn't the right word. How about, it has given me slight pause. What is going on with all of us? It's happening to women in dozens of languages, and from dozens of cultures around the world. We're all reacting the same way. I mean, there were The Beatles, and maybe Brad Pitt or Pierce Brosnan, but this? I've never seen anything like it.

What was it about Stephenie Meyer's dream that had her get out of bed and write this story? She said she had to find out what happened to two characters and that she just couldn't stop writing. And now none of us can stop reading. Even with my insane crazy schedule, I've read the entire series twice. Twice. Do you know how many pages that is? It's just nuts. I've been up in the middle of the night and read from 1:00am to 4:00am — and felt like I spent only ten minutes with the book. And I'll bet you right now that I’ll probably do it again.

What keeps us turning the pages and pining for a character that doesn't exist? Is it the beauty of first love? Is it that stomach-flipping, adrenaline-filled intensity of that first real crush? Those suspenseful moments in the book when I ache for Edward to kiss Bella keep me coming back for more. They make me dizzy. The meadow scene turns me inside out. The description of Bella studying Edward's hand, the anticipation of what might happen every time they're alone, the danger, when he just shows up in his Volvo to save her, the ache for each kiss. All of it. I could read it over and over again.

I find myself wanting to ask why we're all acting like this. Does it make us feel sexy again? Does it bring back the idea that our entire lives are ahead of us? When we read the books with oatmeal in our hair at the kitchen table, when we sneak a page here and there on our lunch hours, when we almost ruin a shirt we're ironing because we can't put the book down (I'll admit that I read all of Midnight Sun on my iPhone in the backseat of a car during my commute), does the escape of the book make us feel like we could be as lucky as Bella? Could we go back and do it all again and be swept off our feet? Sigh…it’s so luxurious. It's an intense, colorful, heart-pounding, delicious escape from real life.

Maybe instead of caring why we all love it so much, I should be saying, "who cares?!" We love him, he's wonderful and he's clearly providing something that we are all very very happy to receive. And as long as it stays in our imaginations it's OK, right?  Even if we all act like crazy teenagers? It’s OK, right? Right?!

Author: Sarah