Two Days Off and A Ray of Light

I was given two days off a few weeks ago. This has not happened in eight years, two days, alone.  I read, went shopping, did yoga, took a walk, wrote, and generally relaxed. When my husband told me that I could stay another night I was so grateful, and then I thought, maybe they are getting a gift too...

Prior to leaving, my irritability and agitation was not hard to notice. My attempts to regain peace and balance failed. My fuse got shorter and I grew resentful. I knew I needed some time off and thought about asking. I thought about it for days.

I am good about giving myself time for a lot of things, but this was never one of them. I felt guilty. My husband seldom had time to himself. I knew it put more responsibility on him if I was gone. I also knew, from his own mouth, that it stressed him out more when I was a grouch. The old saying... if mom was not happy, nobody's happy was true in our house. So I asked.

I almost shortened my time away. My husband wanted to take the girls on a hike. I started to think... a family hike, that would be nice. It was a trap. At some point my daughters would be tired or argue, it was inevitable. I have been caught here before. I have no control over their immediate behavior. Then what?  Aggravated again.

It is ironic. It is in the moments that we most need separation from our families or children that we can have the hardest time leaving. We so desperately hope that the moment will turn. That our impatience or annoyance will disappear and be replaced with pure joy, love and appreciation. The reality is that life with young children is unpredictable and hard work. 

It is not selfish or irresponsible to take care of ourselves. It allows us to love ourselves, so we can better love those around us.  I was blessed to have time to recharge. The truth is that as moms we take breaks far too infrequently, there is always something that needs to be done. I know this, so when I read this passage from Mother Teresa’s A Simple Path I realized even more that the bigger challenge was to create these breaks at home.  This quote was taken from St. Catherine.

"We each need to find a 'cell' within ourselves to pray... her point is that most of us cannot go off to the mountains... we must discover a special place within."

Ironically, I was in the mountains. Yes, it was easy to feel peace and gratitude there but the challenge, as mothers, was to create that ‘cell’ at home. I had to evaluate what in my three days I could take home. The truth was, a lot. Most of it had to do with slowing down, acknowledging the blessings in my life and showing gratitude. It had all been there prior to my retreat, I was just too busy to notice.

Creating Your Cell:

Make a list of all the things that bring you peace.  Reading, instead of watching television, taking a minute of silence, journaling, prayer time, exercise: You do not have to do them all at once, just schedule a few in from time to time. It will be especially enticing to over schedule and over plan this month, be mindful of planning downtime.

If your 'cell' is hard to access keep working on it. Each time you engage in activities that bring you peace, you are closer to attaining it. It is like starting to exercise, you would not walk into a gym the first day, and lift the heaviest weights. Creating peace in your life is no different, the more you practice the more you will find. 

Author: Michelle

Michelle is a therapist in Arvada.  She also runs workshops that focus on creating more balance and peace in life. For more information go to www.thebalancedmother.com

•  
•  
•