When Mommy’s Little Girl Only Wants Daddy
There was a time when my two year-old only wanted me. I was her sun, moon and stars as I should be…I'm the one who went through labor and delivery for crying out loud! And while I did find it a tad irritating to hear her cry when I had to pee or moved momentarily out of view, I was generally overjoyed with the attention. I knew my daughter loved me always, but being adored by her in that way was intoxicating as a first time mom. I had never experienced anything quite like it before.
And then, one day, the "Daddy" switch turned on. I still can't figure out exactly what triggered it, but all of a sudden she wanted to be where ever he was…constantly. Just like she used to be with me. And though I had heard stories of this happening, though I told myself that she loves me just the same, and it was only a phase, and despite all my rationalizations, it still stung. I felt a lump in my throat and a turn in my stomach at the thought of being rejected in the moment for Daddy. Of course I want my daughter to be close with him, to love and adore him and look up to him, and of course I want her to spend time with him. And still, the sting continued to throb.
So what does that make me exactly? Am I selfish for feeling this pang of angst? Is this just some biological maternal instinct kicking in? Or is this just the first small sign of her individualizing and slowly separating from me for the rest of her life, until she moves out on her own and thinks my calls are intrusive? (And by the way, sorry to my mom — I officially get it now!)
Deep down, I am aware that I'm getting ahead of myself here. However, it doesn't make the momentary hurt hurt any less. I know I'll just have to get used to it, and come around to the idea that this is all part of "The Process." That one day after a couple of decades together and countless hugs and giggles and special moments, my little girl will be all grown up and want her own life. I know I did — I know how this goes. Nonetheless, I look forward to hearing my name a thousands more times at least in the years to come, and to the next "Mommy" phase that I'm sure is right around the bend.
Author: Amy
