So, here’s the answer you’re looking for…
Our deepest desire is that you to know that you can create your own Better Way – and no, you’re not crazy for thinking what’s out there isn’t working.
It’s not working, because it’s someone else’s Better Way. Wouldn’t it be lovely to find your own path? Yeah, we think so too.
We’re here to be as honest as we can, sometimes embarrassingly so, because we’ve found that the more honest we are, the more moms tell us, “Finally! Someone is telling the truth! I thought I was alone!”
I was chatting with a friend one day at work.
It was the usual list of complaints, er, um… observations: “I can’t believe how much time we used to have” and “My son cried today when I left to go to work, and all I want to do is be home with him.”
Suddenly I said, “There has to be a better way.” There is no other way to explain that moment, except to call it a “brick-to-the-head” moment. If I had been a cartoon, there would have been a light bulb above my head. Indeed, there has to be a Better Way. I had a new mission in life: To support women in finding their own Better Ways.
If my friend and I were going through this, a whole bunch of other women must be going through it too. In fact, I knew that to be the case.
I’ve heard people call it “the dark side of the moon” or the “secret no one tells you.” Motherhood in this day and age is hard, and no one wants to admit it.
Sure, they complain here and there, or people say we have to learn to “juggle.”
Um, that’s about as descriptive as calling a tsunami “wet.” No one ever tells you how hard this is. It’s completely worth it, more than anything I’ve ever done in my life, but if anyone would have ever told me that I would want to give up my career to be with my kids, I would have told that person they were completely insane.
Yet, that’s exactly what happened. And having to face this has caused a slight identity crisis for me. Who am I if I’m not on track in my career? Who am I if I’m not out there being politically active and changing the world? And then came the, “Who cares? I just want to be home with with my son.”
Now, this would have been great, except that my family relies upon my income. So it started to occur to me that I didn’t have a choice. That realization was incredibly painful.
When the smaller love of my life was born, I was an executive. I had it all mapped out. I had always wanted to be a mom more than anything. I could do both, that’s “what women do” today. In fact, before I met my husband I was so sure that I wanted to be a mother that I was actually looking at sperm banks to do this by myself when I met him. Thank heaven for blind dates, right?
When we launched this site, I was seven-months pregnant with my second child. I know that creating my own hours, and being with my children when I want, while bringing in money, is something I’m willing to give almost anything for. I remind myself of this as I’m up at 1:00 in the morning writing articles or working with our developer and designers. I also think of all the other moms our there who will have somewhere to go to laugh, to not feel alone or just to say “thank heaven someone finally said that!”
One of our goals is to make a mom laugh every day. I know that if I can do that, their lives are better, their friends’ lives are better, their children’s lives are better and that’s about all we can ask for.
Making one person laugh, making one person’s day brighter, I can think of very few things that are better than that.
Sarah is also a contributor on The Huffington Post.
The challenge is to remember the wisdom, particularly when our child is on the floor of Target kicking and screaming or when they decide to yell “NO!” to every request.
We all want to be the best parents we can be. We want to lift our children up and amplify the greatness that we know is in them. But how can you lift your child up when he is rolling on aisle 13 in Target?
I’m Heather Criswell, a parenting coach, speaker, and author of “How to Raise A Happy Child (and be happy too)”. I remind parents of their own greatness and help them see the greatness in their child, especially when it is difficult to see. I have worked with over 30,000 children for the past 25 years and I am a mother to a little boy that has been my greatest teacher on this planet. I have learned that children want to be valued, heard, and acknowledged just as much as adults do.
And that’s why you are here. Because you know deep inside that you can have the relationship you desire with your child. You know that there is a better way to parenting. My intention is to share how to combine your inner wisdom with strategies that work so that you not only raise a happy child, but you are happy too!
If you are hungry for a little more…
I was born and raised deep in the heart of Texas, now living in sunny San Diego. I am so blessed to have a husband that has been by my side for 16 years (believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself) and a son that happens to be the brightest light on this planet.
I was a fat kid. Bullied. Every. Single. Day. I was reminded on a daily basis that I was unworthy of living on this planet.
I surrounded myself with adults and young children. They never made fun of me.
I started babysitting at 12 years old, accepted a position as a teacher at a preschool within days of my 16th birthday, became a youth counselor for the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas, and at 21 owned and operated my own preschool. For nearly a decade I raised a generation of children who believed they were a gift to the world and educated them on how to share those gifts with the world.
I was tired. I needed to be quiet. I went to school for massage therapy and opened a Wellness Center. Quickly, massage clients turned in to parent coaching clients.
I knew it was time to go BIG or go home. I wanted to share my wisdom, experiences, and stories with the world. I wanted to offer hope. I wanted to empower parents, teachers, caregivers, and children around the world and remind them of their own wisdom and greatness. I launched WiseInside, a company dedicated to creating products and services that help people connect with their inner wisdom.
We launched “How to Raise a Happy Child (and be happy too)” and it was welcomed in a BIG way with a Mom’s Choice Award for “Honoring Excellence” and a Creative Child Award for “Book of the Year 2013.”
Which brings me to this moment in time, which is writing, sharing stories, sharing videos, and giving the world everything I have to give. Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
I was married for four years, and that marriage produced my amazing daughter, who currently rules my world. Other major world-rulers currently include my day job, for which I spend ten hours per day in the office and 90 minutes commuting. I’m very competent at what I do and have been working in my industry for almost fifteen years. My problem: doing my day job with the same level of dedication and motivation is becoming harder and harder, and I lose ground on this everyday.
One day in early motherhood, it dawned on me that this was in fact a new dawn.
My old life was over; this was my new life and showed no signs of slowing or getting easier. My life is no longer going to adjust to me — I’m going to have to adjust to it.
This is the part that scared the living daylights out of me! I always thought women could do it all and have it all. Now, I have come to embrace the opinion that it’s a big lie. I cannot have it all and do it all and look incredible and together and feel well-rested and have a fast-track career and a perfectly well-adjusted child. Having all that happen simultaneously, for me, is just not a possibility.
After careful thought and consideration (and many, many conversations with Sarah about how the heck I was supposed to be able to do all this), I realized that while I can’t have it all at once, I can have exactly what I want. But it has to start with me, and what’s important to me at that particular time.
It can’t be about pleasing everyone else.
So that was the big idea, the concrete plan I was going to follow hence forth. Now that I had figured that out, how do I execute this plan? Where do I start? That’s precisely what I had absolutely no idea about.
Then…a light-bulb moment: If I feel this way, others must feel this way too.
I can’t be the only mom on earth wanting to find a better balance and not having the first clue where to start. How come no one told me about this? Why does no one talk about it? Wouldn’t it be great if there was an entire website devoted to helping moms figure out the kind of life and balance they want, and provide the research, tools and support to execute it?
And out of those questions, Better Way Moms was born.
Because I can’t do this alone.
Because although I may have many good ideas, others will have even more. Because two heads are better than one, and three are better than two — you get the picture. And, because I just can’t believe I’m supposed to accept living in this zombie-like state trying to fit into the picturesque idea of the “do it all really well super-mom,” whatever that is.
I just want to be me, do what’s important to me and really be there for the people I love. And I want it for all of us!