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Top 10 Things Those Who Aren’t Parents Should Never Say To Parents

   1.   “I am tired.”  2.  “I know how you feel. My dog is a bad sleeper too.”  3.  “Are you going for the natural look these days?”  4.  “You know what you should do…”  5.  “I’ve been to Paris three times this year. It’s just getting old…”  6.  “My stomach is so big!”  7.  “You never call me anymore.”  8.  “I was bored all weekend.”  9.  “You know when you’re kind of off because you slept TOO much?”  10.  “Shouldn’t she…by now?” Author: Ilona...

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We’ve All Thrown A Stone or Two

No one ever told me really how hard it would be to raise these mini human beings. I remember before I had kids hearing parents talking amongst themselves about their kids and scratching their heads about something their kid had done and mumbling about how hard it was to be a parent. So I guess, they were trying to tell me, but frankly, I naively, egotistically assumed I could do it better. I would think to myself, “How can it be that hard? That much work? Take up that much energy?” I was so judgmental of parents. You know, “Well, if they had taught the kid better manners or values or fill-in-the-blank, then their little brats wouldn’t act like that.” I heard parents talk about how tired they were because they were up all night with their kids and how they never had time to do whatever because the kid was monopolizing their schedule. All I could think of was, “You are obviously not managing your time well and why aren’t they sleeping? When it’s nighttime everyone sleeps, this should not be a problem. Why are you keeping your kids up, go to bed you crazy people?” Before I had kids, I would inevitably get stuck in a seat right in front of a little angel who played with his tray table and kicked the back of my chair for the entire flight. I actually flew to Chicago once for a job interview and had a baby throw up on my shoe. I had no problem shooting a look at the darling in an effort to turn the child to stone and cast a similar glare at the parents to let them know my disapproval of their sub-par parenting skills that had produced their spawn’s annoying behavior. If that was my kid, I would make certain that he would sit nicely and color for four hours and no one would even know he was on the flight. When my husband and I got married I had no interest in getting pregnant for a while. I loved living in New York City. We had a good life, we just didn’t know it. I worked at an advertising agency and we enjoyed going to the theater, traveling and eating dinner with friends at a moments notice any day of the week. About a year into this newlywed bliss I caught the...

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Quick Tips For Your Newborn

Congratulations on your new baby! What an amazing time in life! We’re here to share a few of our quick tips and ideas. We aren’t doctors and you should always check with your pediatrician if feel something is wrong with your baby, or your doctor if you’re worried about post-partum depression for yourself. We’re here to support you as much as we can, and we can’t take the place of your doctors. Here are our tips: Write down your feeding times and lengths. Keep a notepad and pen next to your feeding chair so it’s always handy. If you’re breastfeeding, keep track of which breast you start with (left or right) and alternate the breast you start with each feeding. So if you start with your left breast at the 12:00 feeding, begin with the right breast at your 3:00 feeding. This will ensure that both breasts get equal use. You’ll find that the side you start with gets more of a workout because your baby is hungrier, and sucks harder, at the beginning of the feeding. Keeping track of your feedings will also help your pediatrician understand what the baby has been doing, in case there are any questions or issues. In the beginning, change your baby’s diaper half way through the feeding if you’re using a bottle, and in between breasts if you’re breast feeding. This will help your baby stay awake during the entire feeding so he/she eats enough, and then your baby sleep longer too! Nicer break for you. For the first six weeks of life, try to keep your baby’s “wakeful” periods to less than two hours. After two hours, an infant can become very over-stimulated and then over-tired. It’s harder for a baby to fall asleep when over-tired. Also during the first six weeks, swaddling will be your best friend. There are many books and online tutorials you can find about how to swaddle your baby. This makes the baby feel safe and snug — and it helps your baby sleep better. During night time feedings, do not turn on the light in the room (you may want to keep a night light on so you can see your way). It’s also a good idea not to talk to your baby or look him/her in the eye during the night feedings (not easy!). This teaches your infant that when it’s dark, we sleep. This...

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Storing Breast Milk

When I was first learning how to breastfeed (because let’s face it, no one has any idea what that will be like until she starts!) I realized quite quickly that I needed to figure out how to store my breast milk for when I went back to work. At the same time, I wanted to keep up my regular feedings with my son. I really didn’t want to use formula, so I wasn’t up for swapping out a regular breastfeeding with a formula feeding in order to store my milk. I was very lucky in that I had about a four-month maternity leave, so I knew I had some time to figure it out. But, in that new mom way, I was obsessed and had to find the answer as quickly as I could. I found myself trying every different kind of search possible on the internet, every book, La Leche League (I thought for sure I would find it there), even on the back of my awesome breast milk storage bags. I was beyond frustrated to find out that this information was not to be found. I mean zero, nada, nothing, no where. So this was one of the first articles I wanted to write for this site. I want moms to be able to have this information! I will share here what I did. I really hope it helps! I will also say that for many lucky women, it won’t be quite as challenging as it was for me. It turns out I had a very limited supply of milk. The most I was ever able to pump was five ounces, and that was when he was about six-months-old — the time he actually needed more like seven or eight ounces. So I hope most of you will have a much easier time! Either way, I’m sure the below will help, as I still haven’t found tips for doing this anywhere else. Here are the basics of feeding the baby, as far as quantity. Now, I’m no doctor, and of course you should check with yours first, but I know that this tends to be the general rule. Also, every child is different and this is just an estimate. If your baby seems hungry, keep feeding him or her. No need to stop at two ounces of milk just because the child is two-months-old. If your baby is...

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Talking About What’s Hard Isn’t Easy

“So, how do you like being a new mom?” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that question. I’m surprised I didn’t throw things at the person asking. It’s infuriating. Now hold on, don’t get me wrong — the first few times I was asked, it wasn’t infuriating. It was sweet, touching, considerate. I was thrilled someone was interested in knowing. And at first, I gave a simple and crowd-pleasing answer, “So great! A lot of work but, you know, it’s worth it.” Then, I started to get a little more real, “The weight doesn’t seem to be coming off, largely because I’m eating my way through this depression I’m experiencing.” Apparently, that was not what my audience wanted to hear. Because we’re all supposed to be fine right? Instantly. After undertaking practically the biggest change a person can make to one’s way of life. WHAT!?! Are they crazy? Of COURSE I’m not fine. I’m a mess, barely keeping it together. How do you not know this? And how could you possibly expect me to be any other way?  After my internal rant subsided, I realized that the intention of the people asking is not to torture me…they are really and truly excited for me. They want me to be OK. And I want that too — we’re just on two different timetables. They want everything to run smoothly now and hey, it’s a great idea. It’s just not going to happen in this moment. Or the next. Or the one after that. In fact, there could be thousands or millions of moments until it becomes pretty OK, day in and day out.  And you know what? THAT IS ABSOLUTELY AND COMPLETELY FINE! This is a valid, transitional life experience I’m having.  There’s no need to cover that up just to keep the conversation flowing or because I’ll look incompetent. Someone else adapted to this perfectly? Good for them! I really mean that! But that someone else is not me, and its time to give myself permission to feel and experience everything I’m going through — and communicate that freely as well. Because speaking what is really going on, the truth, is so empowering. I have been glossing over what’s real for the sake of what will work in a conversation for too long, and it serves no one. This is who I am and what I’m going through, and...

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