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How I Started My 2013, Part I

How I Started My 2013, Part I

My daughter was born exactly two weeks into 2013; an occasion many mothers would rejoice in, take pride in, document and proclaim. Birth is a monumental event. It grows us as people. We now have a new title to add to our growing list; daughter, wife, CEO, freelancer, homemaker. Mom. My daughter’s birth wasn’t the first time I became mom. It was the moment I became Mom 2.0. I wasn’t new to this mom gig, but that doesn’t mean that the time leading up to my daughter’s birthday wasn’t without the same first-time parent jitters. In fact, it was frightening because this time I knew what to expect, and not all of it was good. The impending occasion scared me, and I still feel guilty about that. I spent my entire pregnancy with my daughter scared and anxious, mostly because I knew what a difficult time I had birthing my son. I was scared of breastfeeding failure, of the postpartum blues, the hormone drop, the endless nights, the hot flashes and the crying, and this time, not being able to sleep when baby slept because I also had an 18 month old to take care of. I was scared of the surgery pain. I had to have a c-section, as just 18 months prior to my daughter, I already had an emergency c-section to deliver my son. I was not a good candidate for a VBAC delivery. I was afraid of weight gain. I had already lost the weight from my son, and having battled weight my whole life, I wasn’t ready to pack on the pounds. I was afraid of developing an unhealthy relationship with food. I was afraid of adding more strain to my already-strained marriage. Becoming parents as a couple is a tough transition, and just when I thought my husband and I had figured it out, it was all about to change again. Oh, there was also the stress that my husband had just lost his job prior to us finding out I was pregnant. I never felt prepared for our daughter, and that made me feel really guilty. When we found out I was pregnant with our son, we were ecstatic. We had been trying for over a year. The pregnancy was smooth. The house was clean. We felt ready for it. With my daughter, everything was out of sorts. I didn’t want her...

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Top 10 Reasons You Know You’re Ready To Have A Baby

Top 10 Reasons You Know You’re Ready To Have A Baby

1. The thought of discussing amniotic fluid at the dinner table doesn’t gross you at all. 2. Your dream jobs include short-order cook, cat herder, or professional nose-wiper. 3. You think personal space is overrated. 4. You’ve often thought that going to the bathroom would be much more fun if you had someone there with you, leaning on your knees, begging for attention. 5. You’ve got this nagging feeling that your house is just a bit too clean. 6. You find yourself singing Old MacDonald and BaaBaa Black Sheep. To yourself. When you’re alone. 7. 10 pm sounds really, really late to you. 8. You feel naked leaving the house with fewer than 3 bags. 9. Getting “dressed up” consists of taking a shower and putting on clean clothes. Or at least clothes that aren’t visibly dirty. 10. You’ve done that whole “sleep” thing and decided it’s just not for...

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Information Overload

There is a lot of information out there about being a parent. A new mom, in one quick Google search can find everything she ever wanted to know about pregnancy, labor and delivery; and a lot of information she probably didn’t want to know. It would seem to me that most of the parenting articles online are geared towards certain types of people. The people who like to be prepared for every contingency know all their options and everything and anything that could possibly happen during the nine months and unknown hours of pregnancy/delivery. I am not one of those people. I will admit I bought some books on pregnancy, breastfeeding and delivery. I will also admit to throwing those books across the room, saying a few choice words that my unborn baby – still without ears – would be none the wiser to and going to the kitchen wishing that bottle of wine was chilling for me. I found in all the books, chat rooms and blogs a lack of resonance with the authors and other moms. I didn’t want to know everything. I want to approach labor completely ignorant of what those giant scissors are used for. (My working theory is that it’s to help the new mom cut the ribbons on all the gifts she receives.) I don’t want to know about sits baths, leaking, clogging or that it may actually be possible to birth a ten-pound baby naturally. I want to enjoy the time my husband and I have together now, looking hopefully, ideally and naively at the future of when our little one arrives. I want to buy pink teddy bears and write in a baby book all about how much I looked forward to her arrival. I want to prepare the way my mother did — by living my life and buying a crib. Now some of you may be wondering about my lack of planning. As I said, I bought the books. Ok, I also threw the books but I also looked into classes at my local hospital…after all for a new mom there are tons of options on baby classes. For example there are Bradley classes. I don’t know much about him but he seems to have a good reputation. Since it was a birthing method I just assumed he was a masseuse or perhaps did reflexology but my friend who...

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Who Do I Think I Am? Angelina Jolie?

My husband and I have two kids. Two really great kids. We love them. One is almost four, the other almost seven. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Really. Except, well, maybe one more baby…. I know, I know. With the expense of everything these days, the fact that I’m the world’s worst pregnant woman (seriously, I am. Like, the worst ever.) and feeling like I rarely give the two children I have all the attention they deserve, I must be insane to want one more. Except, I have this feeling I can’t get rid of. I think there is another baby out there for us. A boy, in fact (I’m never wrong on gender). My husband is thinking he’s done (I’m thinking that has more to do with the fact that I become glued to the couch with a bag of Doritos strapped to my face in a feedbag when I’m pregnant), and I totally respect his “doneness.” So, I’d pretty much let the idea of baby number three go. Until I went to church with my husband one Sunday a few weeks ago. See, I don’t go to church. I was raised in an incredibly religious culture, so the whole organized religion thing doesn’t really do it for me. I completely respect it, I have zero problem with other people going, and I will usually go when asked. But I don’t seek it out. This was one of those weeks when my more religious husband asked me to join him in going to church. There are weeks, very few and far between, when he makes this request. So, I usually say yes. So, on this particular Sunday morning, I got both kids ready, managed to spray some water on myself during a two-second shower and threw on the one dress I have that still fits. As I sat in the pew and felt my little baby girl weigh heavy (and sweaty) on my chest, and I cuddled my son up close to me with my left hand, I was reminded of the many (many) Sundays in church with my mom. Not one of my favorite memories, so I wasn’t really listening to what was being said. To escape my own discomfort, I was compulsively running through my to-do lists in my head, and wistfully thinking of everything else I could be doing at that moment. At the...

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Getting Ready for Number Two

Getting Ready for Number Two

My husband Josh and I have been cleaning out and rearranging in preparation for Baby Number Two, aka Pickle. While our house is small by some standards, it is definitely large enough for a family of four – we just need to use the space a bit more wisely than we have in the past. We’re rearranging furniture, and we’ve cleaned out a tremendous amount of “stuff — we donated over 300 books as well as several Subaru-loads full of clothes, and well, crap. We’re also moving a fair amount of furniture out of the house, and if all goes according to plan we’ll only be buying one new piece. All of this purging feels good…and not just because I’ve been watching too many episodes of “Hoarders” lately. I’m glad to be cleaning out the house because I enjoy doing something for Pickle. The imminent arrival of Number Two is our impetus for this big project and to be honest, we haven’t done much for Pickle so far. Admittedly, there’s not much to be done for an unborn baby other than avoid deli meat and sushi and take my prenatal vitamins. I should qualify that: there’s not much to be done for a yet-to-be-born baby when it comes to Josh and me. We’re not big on decorating nurseries or having baby showers or registering for said baby showers. I think we put together our daughter’s crib when I was about 34 weeks along, and we still haven’t picked a “theme” for her room. She’s sixteen months-old. But psychologically, we were much more focused on my pregnancy with Number One (aka the Chooch) than we are on this one. Perhaps our struggles with infertility made that first pregnancy even more exciting, but I suppose it was also the novelty of it all (and the lack of a toddler to keep us busy) that had us thinking about that pregnancy a lot more. I remember standing in front of the mirror at just eight or ten weeks into the first pregnancy, wondering if I was showing yet and trying to decide if it was time to start wearing all of the cute maternity clothes I had bought. I was reading books and websites about pregnancies. Each new development was exciting: look how nice and thick my hair is getting! I have to pee every twenty minutes – I’m sooo pregnant! Hey...

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Top Ten Truths About Being Pregnant

 1.  Morning sickness lasts all day and all night and makes you want to climb walls.  2.  You might lie about your due date just a little bit in order to appear smaller than you are.  3.  The thought that you have a full blown human in your stomach will amaze you, endear you and terrify you depending on the moment.  4.  You will leak from everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE.  5.  You will love your full-body pillow at night way more than your husband.  6.  You will count the days until your sonograms and afterwards spend hours studying what looks like shadows to other people.  7.  Your baby’s hiccups will bring you to tears because you will know exactly where he or she is at that very moment and exactly what they are doing.  8.  You will look with amazement between your legs (as much as you can look anyway) and think about labor: “There is just no way…”  9.  You will envy a non-pregnant woman at least once during your pregnancy: either for her tiny, defined waist or that delicious glass of wine she will hold in her hand.  10. You would smear dog poop on your stomach if it could guarantee no stretch marks in the end. Author: Ilona...

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