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Summer “Vacation” with Kids (cont)

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… so maybe she’s gotten used to the work that goes into it, but I was still impressed. She rarely got frazzled when The Boy insisted on poking his younger sister despite numerous warnings against such behavior. She never threatened to cut the trip short and drive everyone straight home in the rental car. As far as I can remember, the only mistake she made was giving the youngest a chocolate ice cream cone when the youngest was wearing an all-white outfit. I then thought I would do her a favor and wash that outfit and put it in the washer with a black sweatshirt thereby turning the white outfit gray and forcing my wife to drag all the kids to back to Gymboree for a new outfit the day they returned — the cycle of life in our house. 

Don’t get me wrong. We had an absolutely fabulous time in Oregon despite all the work. Our trip was almost exactly like the 80’s classic Summer Rental, starring John Candy, without the regatta race, severe sunburn and the classic 80’s montage of the family rebuilding the boat. I don’t want to bore you with all the travel details, but let me share a few highlights with you:

•    We took the kids to see the apartment we lived in while I attended graduate school in Eugene because we felt it was important for them to see where the madness began. You should have seen how excited the kids got when we showed them apartment buildings. If they weren’t fastened securely in seat belts, I’m sure they would have jumped out of the moving car. 
•    Having completely brainwashed The Boy regarding the only college football and basketball team that is he allowed to cheer for while living under my roof, The Boy was thrilled to finally see what all fuss was about and he agrees now that my brainwashing him was a good idea. 
•    We eventually made it to the coast, where we enjoyed some great time at the beach hanging out with family over bonfires, hiking through the forests, avoiding the 30 degree water at all costs and preventing Sweet Pea and The Boy from falling off large, un-roped cliffs. 
•    We consumed roughly 12 gallons of Tillamook ice cream per person. Which was close to a family record.
•    While crabbing (yeah, that’s right we went crabbing), my wife, Sweet Pea and The Boy who were in the boat with me succeeded in not touching any of the numerous crabs we pulled and only screamed after the first two dozen crabs.

No children were lost in the ocean. We all gained five pounds. Live crab making women and children scream. Picture perfect family vacation.

I had no idea how much work this trip was going to be and I’m convinced more than ever that my wife is a complete saint for being able to handle all of this work each and every day. We had a terrific time and the kids won’t stop talking about it, but I have to admit, I was ready to return to the office and even my saintly wife is already asking when we can go on our next vacation without the kids. I was thinking of getting some of the guys together to plan another couples trip to Vegas. 

Author: Anonymous Husband

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